Inspiration: A New Year’s Resolution for Me and You

When I was asked to write a regular inspiration column for this newsletter, I thought, “Me? Inspiration? What have I done? How can I inspire?”

Then I realized something: I have done something. I stood up for myself. I let my voice be heard. When I left my ex-husband, all I had was the shirt on my back. And on my back was written these words: “Be the change you wish to see in the world” –Mohandas K Gandhi.

Like Gandhi said, I was the change I wanted to see in the world. I wanted to end domestic violence, and I started by making that change in my own life. My life was an example. I am an inspiration.

That day, my resolution came to me: I would end domestic violence.

That day, my resolution came to me: I ended domestic violence in my life.

Today, in the new year (2010), I make this resolution: To inspire someone today.

How: Break my silence, and help others break theirs.

Yes, it is true that one in three women will experience domestic abuse in her lifetime. It is not easy to break the silence that makes this issue such a wide-spread yet unknown epidemic. Being the social butterfly that I am, and being an open book, I had no problem talking to my friends about what was happening in my life throughout my relationship with my ex. Had any of them known about domestic violence, they probably would have recognized the signs and advised me as such. For some reason, no one did; I stayed for 15 months of emotional, mental, sexual, physical, and financial abuse.

Right after I left, rather than be silent about the abuse, I started to tell a few close family members and friends. I sought support from whatever source I could, even people in passing—at the grocery store, coffee shop, anywhere. Later, I told my workplace and found empathetic ears. I had my portrait drawn for Bravery Project. I became involved in other domestic abuse projects. Wherever I went, I spoke about my story. My past held me, and it was emotional each time.

In the last few months, I kept my story to myself. But now I realize that I can speak about my experiences with abuse without being affected by it personally. So, here I am, breaking my silence, and telling the world: I am abuse free!

You never know by breaking your own silence, whom you will inspire to break hers (or his). Together, we can make this issue of domestic abuse known by breaking the silence; together, we can end domestic violence.

If you are ready, maybe it’s time for you to break your silence! If you have been abused—it’s okay to speak about it; if you haven’t—maybe you can hear about it!